Well Played Guilt Hand of Motherhood.

On the first, precious day you hold the most beautiful perfect child in our arms. You are filled with amazement and wonder at the creation of life. As a mother you can`t help it but to look upon that small face, with determination say,“ I will be the best mom I can be.“

We all try to be The Best Moms, we know how. During the process, we dart from accusing daggers our friends shoot at us, the bountiful, mindful advice professionals give us, and the constant loving advice from family.

Why is this even a part of motherhood,because your motherhood effectiveness is evaluated on the performance of your children.

Good Children= Good Parents The Motherhood Hand of Guilt

Yipee! for me because I have the most willful free-spirit child that ever existed. Yes personally I love a challenge but somedays I believe neither one of us wins. One super big failure for motherhood coming up. Score 5 for the willful 2 year old.

“Have you tried this– dear– it worked on your brother, when he was having a hard time.“

“All that kid needs is a good spank on the backside, that worked for you, and it worked for me, and we all came out right“

Raising children of the 21st century; spanking was Taboo, and corporal punishment outlawed, and parents who disobey these laws are labeled bad parents with future messed up (dysfunctional) children.

Motherhood Hand of Guilt

Now I am not going to say it is wrong or right, but what these laws did was take away the traditional ways society, communities, and family raised children. Old saying , “ it takes a community of people to raise a child.“

A mother who was raised on traditional punishment, now was brainstorming and learning new ways to dish out the punishment. A community Grandfather would kicked kids in the arses if they defaced his property, now can`t because he`ll be charge. A society that is shut down from— dishing any punishment to children run free and unsupervised.

When my son was about 3-4 years old I was in a losing battle. If I choose the corporal punishment, this child`s butt would have been daily red from my hand print, and I would have been charged. So I had to learn a new way of parenting and quickly.

The new method was natural and logical consequence. So I spent the next year in a parenting group learning how to effectively parent. I was very proud of my new parenting skills. I really thought this parenting plan would work. Life is full of natural and logical consequences.

4 yr old won`t wear his winter mitts outside.

Logical- cold fingers =willingness to wear mittens.

But MOTHERS shouldn`t let their children face these truths, no we should step in. Children should be allowed to make chooses that could harm them.

“Mrs Dambrowitz, your son says he doesn`t have to wear mitts if he doesn`t want to.“

“ Well yes this is true, place his mitts in pockets and before you know it he will be wearing them.Little children has self preservation too. Cold fingers don`t feel good long before frost bite.“

“Oh Mrs. Dambrowitz, we can`t do this! The school will be liable if he gets frost bite, You have to fix this Mrs Dambrowitz. Or we will be forced to keep your son in at recess“

Number one rule to raising a child—- Punishment has to be consistent.

“Mrs. Dambrowitz, your son isn`t doing his homework. You have to make him do his homework“

“If he isn`t doing homework, and not behaving in class fail him, natural and logical reaction. If he had a job and didn`t show up prepared he would get canned. “

“OH I`m sorry Mrs. Dambrowitz , we don`t fail children in school anymore.“

When school polices don`t reflect your parenting methods no one wins. Daily life becomes a battle of wits. Parenting isn`t a glamorous job, but we can NOT lay all the blaime on the poor old parents.

At age pre-teens, children can make choices for themselves. I know this is true because at age 11, I made life choices for myself. You don`t have to be a product of your parents– parenting.

So stop blaimming the parents.

Bad Parenting doesn`t = bad parents.

Maybe the future will have parenting course taught in schools.

Personally I can say, “After raising two children, I don`t think MOM was a shining achievement of my life. Do I love my children. Hell ya .Does raising two children make me expert. HELL NO!! —I do know NOW that children need on-off switch and operating manual. Only then do I feel the playing field is equal. OH and open book test next time please.LOL“