What's Your Point? You, Canadian Mutt!!

People are always asking me why are you doing this? Why do I blog and write letters that will never be heard?

My statement is, “I want to stop the pain and suffering causes to families and create a proactive treatment plan for every mentally ill.”

But now my simple statement will be, “I want to create one ripple of change, faith will do the rest!”

People are always saying that I am a dreamer, and the real world doesn’t work the way I see it. To me dreaming is just the faith within ourselves to make a better world. The world you exist in.

The world within my house, my reality and my bubble. The world that shines around me as I am about my town,living life and loving what life has tossed my way.

LOVING HARDSHIP,because BE Damned if I will allow hardship to beat me, or turn my heart to COLD HARD OPPRESSION – that creates only hate.

People rant that they have no power to change the world, no power to change the masses and no power to make the world a better place. This makes me want to cry. Cry for –you have lost faith within yourself. When did we give this power away? When did we allow all the negative and despair to enter our lives.To me dreaming is just the faith within myself to make a better world. So I ask all of you out there why have you lost faith in humanity and yourself.

I want to ask if you tossed a stone into a pond would the ripples not fan out, and if you now tossed another stone, would the ripples not compound? Well I choose to believe that every deed and word I have done or spoken has not gone into this world without creating that ripple. Some people may have seen the ripple and wondered in it. They have place this in their memory banks for a recall at a later date. Another may have seen the ripple and was inspired to change a small aspect of their own life. Another may have join in to create their own ripples.

I choose to believe in the cosmic universal laws of cause and effect, and in change as an ever occurring event. I choose to believe that ever energy of word or thought, I give out creates a cause and effect.

There are so many one liners to support dreamers of dreams. Karma.You reap what you sow. World change begins with one small change within ones-self.So if this makes me a dreamer to you so be it, but also remember that my dreams also warm my heart with love and endurance.

I wondered does oppression warm your heart or does it feed your anger and despair?

Will Canada's Camel's Back Break?

Every old grummpy man’s statement,” back in the day I remember when…..” Does each generation demoritalized so much that one has to wish for a return of similar days?

I spend the weekend nature camping. It reminded me of -” my Grampa’s simpler days.” I realized it isn’t the way of life that people long for, it is the meaning of life and the value of living enriched lives.

I was like everyone else blaming life’s trails on money, time, and demands of the go go go life style. Who is it ,that places this burden in our lives? Us, and we accept it. Why do we accept it?

We accept the pressure.It is normal to have run from our jobs to the numbers after school programs for our children. Because if we don’t, we are bad parents, we deny our children their right to- BETTER.

We gauge our success by what we can afford, the bigger house, the 2 vehicle yard, the seasonal toys ( boats, campers, four-wheelers and the 2 wheeler)and now a days the family vacation to destinations aboard.

Is BETTER worth it? Yes you can’t deny the family moments will have created memories that are priceless. My generation and me are banking on this. But then I look at the whole picture, how many of us didn’t have broken marriages? Over 90% of my graduating class has broken or failed relationships. How many of us have serious heath issues? How many of my friends died young? Is BETTER worth it.

Can there be a better way, to share family time and leave the pocket book at home? Have our own needs to afford BETTER, bite us in the @ss! When we asked for raises, who paid for them? Where did the money come from?

So employer raised prices to cover costs of wages, then the cost of product and inflation caused the purchase price to rise. WAIT A MIN—so I demand more money then prices go up. So I ‘am not making more, and I am no farther ahead.

I have to wonder what is the true cost of things? I wonder can the price of greed keep increasing or will it be the straw to break the camel’s back? I think my Grandfather’s dream for simpler days will come back, but at what cost? World clasps, global market crashed,and nations that are bankrupt? Greed or BETTER will have it’s end, what will mankind do after?

Junk- Yard Criminal Mutts Deserve No Rights!

Have you heard?—- “A picture is worth a 1000 words." " All the proof was in the Photo. " " The Photo doesn’t lie.”

Well, our Canadian Mounted Police disagree with those statements. This Canadian Mutt , has some ( 20 +) pictures of three males plus minor using prescription medication to feed their personal drug addiction. This prescription medication is for the mentally ill, very expensive, and it is paid for by whom ( Medicare/ Gov’t). Canadian Taxpayers- pay for this medication, that thugs are stealing or using coercion to obtain. This coercion has to be proofed and it is mentally ill's word against the criminal bullies. Who will you bet on to win???

Chris Rak, 33 year old Junk- Yard Mutt Boyfriend

So here, we have the Junk-Yard Mutt, Boyfriend very pleased to be getting a cheap high. All paid for by government, and not enforced by law in anyway.

Taxpayers are now supporting drug dealers and users.

Are you happy about supporting this Maingy Mutt's drug habit?

Are you accepting that Statement given to me.” The law and police can do nothing about this?” Not until they find the medication on him personally.

What are we policing if not CRIME?

But, when I ask the police to go an arrest Chris Rak, the answer I get is." Sorry this photo isn’t enough proof."

So we have these 20 some pictures, a statement taken from my daughter back in April, that Chris Rak was selling her medication, but all that isn’t enough.

Well then I say, all this medication is regulated by government and drug stores. They have extensive records. Now he doesn’t drive so we have to check drug stores in area. Penticton to Osoyoos- Approx 35 stores. We have a time frame, the camera was bought at Xmas,so dates from Dec to April. If Chris Rak, doesn’t have any prescriptions with any drug store. Then why does he have some in these pictures, and why is he taking them? Yes, I have photos of him actually chocking back the pills. Is that not solid proof?

Where’s our fight against crime is in this country. Is Canada a safe haven for drug lords, and thugs. From watching my safe streets in Osoyoos turn into regular sites of crime. People openly drinking at beaches, parting on elementary school yards, pictures on facebook of Mutts peeing in the streets, and drug deals in alleys.

Why should CRIME have RIGHTS! I want the right to live in my town and know that thugs will be dealt with. What Rights do you want over CRIME.

Strong Canadian Mutts Living in the Wilderness of Life.

Today is The Canadian Mutt's Anniversary today. I totally going to posture, the fact that my husband and I are still Happy Mates after 22 years.

“For the fates have tested us greatly, and the curses smiled against us, but we The Dambrowitz’s have victory and holding. Wining because losing just isn’t an option.’

As a Mutt Mates, we have built a home together, raised 2 children, suffered major cancer illness, moved across country, reno- a second house, survived teens, and now a child( 20 yrs old) with serious mental illness. So yes as a couple we’re worn, well broken in, very seasoned, but life has not shattered us. Everyone please step aside as I place my hands on my hips and do the peacock strut, while singing the song” I’m a survivor.”

With all the trails my marriage has had to face, I will admit the only thing that really endangered my marriage was our daughters mental illness. It placed such a large stressful strain on everyone in the family, that before long we were are physically exhausted and biting at each others throats. Not even the family pets are spared from the stress.

As a family that function as a close unit, now everything evolved around an illness—- But wait we did that one before when my husband suffered cancer. No this illness is different, because you to grief for the lost soul to your family. The most profound statement, ever made to me was, “I want the sister, I cherished. Back!!!- My real sister.” Specialist and myself, don’t know if that is possible. Today, I’m not even sure who are Princess is, or is suppose to be.

My husband and I are blessed to have his close family support, and our networks of friends. We dearly love and cherish our friends, but it is awful to see the torment on their faces, as they struggle to understand what we go through on a daily basis. Then we watch the division lines take a stand, as they struggle with the political human rights, and bureaucratic polices around mentally ill.

Well these friends are our support system. So now we can’t talk to our friends and family about what is haunting us night to day- Maybe of the rest of our lives!!!Now talk about an illness that is an explosive can of worms.And guess what it only gets worse.

Now the professional–here to help. Can they really say what they truly feel? No of course not! Yes we have all heard it whispered gag order–Not sure it exist! But it is a good line to hide behind.Personal agendas for service providers, and secret power struggles. There is so much division, and double talk among the professionals to give you whip lash.

But for today, I look at myself and my family and giggle. For the fates have tested us greatly, and the curses smiled against us, but we The Dambrowitz’s have victory and holding. Wining because losing just isn’t an option. That is What it is to be Strong Canadian Mutts Living in the Wilderness of Life.

A Canadian Mutt, Who is only a Mutt to all!!!

The system doesn’t support us. It actually hangs Canadian families out to dry. It’s an estimated cost of $10,000.00 dollars a year to care for my daughter. A family with two incomes is now down to one. So this added care cost is being supported by one income family instead of 2. As the Mom provide, 24 hr care for our unstable, house bound, violent and very abusive mentally daughter?

By mom being nursemaid, and sole caregiver–she is saving. Everyone tax payers dollars and health care dollars!! So I apply for a tax credit, ( we have been denied X3) this will only lower the federal taxes we pay. Then I have to question this, if my daughter is sick enough to get a pension income, than why can I get a tax break for the same child? It isn’t like the government is going to give my family extra income for caring for our sick daughter. I know there is income credits given to parents that has a child suffering from disability, but this doesn’t happen for mentally ill.

Government Support! What a slap in the face!

Thank you Mrs Dambrowitz for saving Canada tax payers $$$,but we can NOT nor will we support you.

I have subjected my family’s lives to be abused and victimized, because no one wants to hospitalize, a mentally ill a person who is clearly unstable for the last 5 years? Not even us her family, we have tried to avoid hospitalization.

But who is suffering. Who is being used and abused. After 5 years of continuous unstableness,yelling screaming, suicide watch, no sleep and all days event are scheduled around the mentally ill person living in your house. Now I have had 5 years experience dealing with our daughters mental illness.I really don’t think I can look after her. The safest place for her is the Hospital.

So last month I asked the Doctor to place my daughter in hospital. In 5 years I have NEVER asked to hospitalize my daughter. Did the doctor respect me? Did anyone listen to me? Who supported me? NOT a single service nor government agency.

Now where is our daughter on the street, an endangerment to herself and others. I called the police and tell them this, their first response is if doctor didn’t put her in hospital, than police won’t either. So when she becomes another story in the news, remember I am the mother NO ONE LISTENED TO.

Lone wolf! A Cry in the Night!

Here I sit in front of my computer screen, wondering has the rantings of a yapping Canadian Mutt Mother made a difference to you?

Lately, I don’t know what to write about. I just know raising a mentally ill daughter who dishes out more abuse then an abusive husband, has finally robbed my energy to fight. The last 5 years of unstable treatment plan, have finally robbed my hope.

I find it crazy that, I 'm living an abusive life, when I swore as a child, I would never live that way again. I choose my husband because I knew he would cherish me, and never raise a violent hand against me or our children. I wasn’t wrong–I have the most supportive, calm, rock solid, loving husband in the world, who is my best friend.

The one that is abusive is the our daughter, who is mentally ill. But these last two months, have shown me, we can no longer support our mentally ill daughter, nor allow her to live with us any longer.

I want all you parents out there to think about this. You have a sick daughter of 20.

Do you turn them away?

Do you live in an abusive situation, because you don’t want your sick child on the street?

Can you turn your back on this sick child?

Well, I have to do just that. I have asked for help from every bureau out there and every service provider. I have asked for legal advice. All systems have failed us. No one hears the cries of a Lone wolf!

So the images that have hunted my nights are the ones we don’t want to read about in the news. The crimes that are senseless with usually 100% PREVENTABLE, if laws, and medical treatment for mentally ill was Pro-Active.

100% Preventable if someone would listen. So my question is has this blog made a difference?

Where Does This Mutt Go?

Well everyone it has been awhile since I last wrote a blog. Part of the reason is this Mutt is getting very bitter and resentful. Two qualities I have a hard time accepting within myself. Negative qualities that have no use but to tear a person down, but yet I am faced with seeing this qualities staring back at me, in my mirror image.

I have to wonder how long, have I been so neglectful of my own self. I'm, NOT the first Mothering Mutt that will deny my own care when it comes to the family unit, but when did I become so unaware of myself. When did I careless toss away the knowledge of wisdom? When did I stop hearing my own internal warning signs?

I heard all those Pack Mothers say," You need to look after yourself! You need to rest! You need to step back." This Mutt totally passed all of it off, by rationalizing to myself- I know me- I have my own warning system. I personally know when enough is enough.

But as I look into the mirror today I realized,-I didn't hear the warning bells! Even worse, I didn't see myself slipping into that muddy, cloudy water, that can quickly consume you. Leaving you to tired to fight for even your own breath. While your pups lay helpless, awaiting their champion to return. I remember growling and wanting to snap on everyone that told me," STOP! Care for yourself! "

My mind growled, "How can you ask me this when my daughter is sick, walking a dangerous line, and no one but me will step in to save her." This the point where your life comes crashing down. When you realize you are powerless to stop tragic events from happening. The point when every door you knocked at was slammed in your face.

I've been that Mutt, to mutter to a friend," You did the best you could. It wasn't your fault. You have to let your children experience life and make choices. We can't control events that are out of our hands." ---- What a load of smelly pooh. I feel so ashamed that this Mutt, believed those words could comfort and appease the heart of a grieving parent.

This Canadian Mutt, now understand what it feels like to be asked to accept failure: Failure of laws, systems,

and dis-function of society. I've arrived at the fork in the road. I tired all the roads, now where do I go?

Fork #1 I can no longer fight this battle without, serious mental and health fail out for myself

#2 I have to accept the changes (laws and polices) I desperately need and want for my daughter, won't happen to save her.

# 3 This is the hardest for me to accept. That people with the mental health profession will not stand up and support you-- even if they agree with you. Why? Because people are fearful of losing their job, or they are fearful to take a stand that others feel is the wrong stand.

I ask all you Canadians. Could you could stand at this fork? Knowing that all roads have met you in failure. Could you accept you are powerless to help a suffering sick child?